What if The Expendables Were Women?

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You can round up a bunch of aging action stars and call it a halfway-decent, end-of-summer movie, and then you can put together ten female heroes who look as good with a firearm as they do in leather. We cast the blockbuster that should

have been.

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Linda Hamilton

Action credentials: Sure, Terminator 2had the liquid-metal CGI, but we still prefer to remember those... arms. Never has a mother in a sweaty tanktop looked at once so intimidating and hot.

The now-expendable Expendable: Sylvester Stallone

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Kate Beckinsale

Action credentials: Looks great in leather, whether as a vampire (Underworld) or vampire hunter (Van Helsing). Our reigning Sexiest Woman Alive has brains, too — she studied literature at Oxford.

The now-expendable Expendable: Jason Statham

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Zhang Ziyi

Action credentials: She may not be a professionally trained martial artist, but she is a professionally trained dancer. And forgetCrouching Tiger — that wire work in Hero did it for us. Also: just an inch shorter than...

The now-expendable Expendable: Jet Li

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Pamela Anderson

Action credentials: Exceptional slow motion runner. Tattooed.

The now-expendable Expendable: Dolph Lundgren

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Gina Carano

Action credentials: "Played" Crush in NBC's relaunch of American Gladiators. Daughter of Cowboys quarterback. Also: better MMA winning percentage than...

The now-expendable Expendable: Randy Couture

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Maria Kanellis

Action credentials: Before she braved Trump and The Celebrity Apprentice, the WWE vixen endured a beer hose-down from Steve Austin after she rightly condemned his movie, The Condemned.

The now-expendable Expendable: Steve Austin

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Pam Grier

Action credentials: Has a black belt in barstools.

The now-expendable Expendable: Terry Crews

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Grace Jones

Action credentials: Is there another human being on Earth more singularly terrifying and insane than Grace Jones? Anyone?

The now-expendable Expendable: Mickey Rourke

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Brigitte Nielsen

Action credentials: Technically, a romance with Flavor Flav wouldn't be considered "action," but you watch Strange Love and tell us otherwise.

The now-expendable Expendable: Arnold Schwarzenegger

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Demi Moore

Action credentials: Remember G.I. Jane, when she shaved her head and did one-armed pushups in the rain for about three hours? Yes, please. Thank you.

The now-expendable Expendable: Bruce Willis