Foursquare and Facebook’s new “Places” application are becoming all the rage for social media enthusiasts. Telling people (and advertisers) where they eat, shop and live has become an it thing to do as of late. And while it may seem cool to want to let the
world know where you are an exact moment in time, tracking apps such as these could also pose some problems for folks that maybe aren’t thinking of the consequences that could come by telling people your day-to-day whereabouts. Here are a few places where you should just keep your Foursquare updates to yourself.
8 Anywhere near an ex-girlfriend’s home
If you have a crazy jealous girlfriend (let’s be honest, we all have at some point) you don’t want to check into anywhere that you may run into your ex at. That means that restaurant you two frequented for brunch on Sundays, the bank branch that she works at or her favorite bar while you were dating. And you definitely don’t want to be “the mayor of my ex-girlfriend Jen Robinson’s house” on Foursquare!” Bad move, moron. You may as well just throw your phone into the river, change your name and move to a different town because she’s gonna find you and the conversation is not going to be pretty. She. Is. Crazy. 7 Funeral homes
I’m at Johnson’s Funeral Home on Foursquare with 34 others! Just look at that sentence. You shouldn’t be worried about checking-in on Foursquare during a funeral service because it’s simply in bad taste and you should have much more important things to worry about than Twitter. Now if the casket accidentally slides out the back of the hearse, down a hill, and into a Baskin Robbins like my Great-Aunt Ruth’s did — I expect TwitPics and a police statement. Aunt Ruth loooved her ice cream…6 The same bar over and over again every night
I’m the mayor of Drink Till You Drown Tavern on Foursquare! I just earned the “Norm Peterson” badge on Foursquare! Just beat up old mayor of Drink Till You Drown Tavern with his beer scepter (broken Rolling Rock bottle) and I‘m back as mayor on Foursquare! I’m at Divey McDiverson’s Pub on Foursquare with zero others. Got my orange floaties and back at Drink Till You Drown Tavern on Foursquare! I just unlocked the “Wait, I’m not allowed to pee here?” badge on Foursquare! That’s just pathetic — this person needs help or a night in the drunk tank. Wait, that’s MY foursquare…5 Alcoholics Anonymous
I’m at Alcoholics Anonymous in Our Lady of Sobriety Church with seven others on Foursquare! First of all, it’s supposed to be anonymous and that’s why checking in there is not only not OK, it’s also against the first rule of Alcoholics Anonymous. Nobody wants to have an “@” shout-out when they are trying to get help for a possibly embarrassing addiction and nobody should want to share AA meeting locations with anyone except their sponsor… unless that sponsor is the mayor of Drink Till You Drown–I’ll get you Steve Maynard!4 The airport
Sure, it seems innocuous enough checking in from the airport, but what you are really telling your followers and millions of strangers is that you aren’t going to be at home for awhile. “Hey, I’m delayed at LaGuardia Airports with 32 others” turns into “Hey, someone stole my jewelry, my clothes and my LCD television while I was out of town on business.” And the that eventually turns into “I’m at Best Buy with 14 others…” It’s just best if you don’t let millions of strangers know you aren’t in town — especially because last week you tweeted about the trouble you’ve been having with the locks on your front door.3 Brothels
I’m at Sexy Suzie’s Whoremporium–NOPE, NOPE! Nobody needs to know this–too much information for everyone involved. Not to mention you’re tipping off local law enforcement. Bad, bad idea. 2 Chuck E. Cheese
Sure, if you have kids and you want alert other parents to your whereabouts so that they’ll bring their kids to Chuck E. Cheese and you guys can have a beer (they sell it there) while the kids play skee-ball, it’s perfectly cool. What’s not is that you’re single, in your early 30s, and are drunk and with a buddy (possibly alone) and you think the world needs to know your new high score on Dance Dance Revolution. That check-in alerts Chris Hansen and the local police department of two inebriated individuals they need to keep an eye on now and in the future.1 Jail
Have a night where you got into trouble and ended up getting cuffed and stuffed for a minor infraction? Get pulled over and realize you have some unpaid parking tickets and get hauled in by the boys in blue? Did you rob a bank while wearing the mask of a former president and accidentally tip off a renegade cop named Johnny Utah, who always gets his man? Probably not good for your sake, your family’s sake and your impending day in court to divulge too much about what happened and where you are when you finally get your Blackberry back — even if you’re innocent.
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